The Mycenaean

My hair straightener is dead.

The Remington Wet2Straight I received in eighth grade has survived through five years of daily use. By sophomore year, I had my routine down to a science, turning the curly lion’s mane I wake up with into perfectly straight hair in less that ten minutes.

The Wet2Straight heated up in thirty seconds and had an extremely high heat setting that, although probably extremely damaging, got the job done quickly. I loved that straightener, so when one of the heating plates fell off recently, it was with a heavy heart that I trekked to K-mart in order to find a replacement.

Armed with a limited amount of money, I stood in front of the straighteners for over twenty minutes, trying to decide which would be the best for my hair. Curved plates? Wide or narrow? How many heat settings would be optimal? I had no clue.

I had finally narrowed down my choices to a Wet2Straight – exactly what I had throughout my entire life, and a Revlon ceramic iron.

I am embarrassed to say that I chose the Revlon because not only was it ceramic, which I had heard made for a better straightener, but also because it was slightly more expensive. I assumed this meant it was better quality and would therefore cut down my straightening time even more.

What a mistake.

I took home my purchase and ripped off the packaging. The first thing I noticed was that the Revlon did not beep or give any other signal when it was done heating up, one of the perks of my old Wet2Straight. Although it was a minor nuisance, I was still excited to try straightening my hair with what I thought was an upgrade.

After a few minutes of chilling in the electrical socket, the iron was warm – definitely too hot to touch – but definitely nowhere near the heat my Wet2Straight produced. I gave it a few minutes longer and finally gave up – this straightener was not getting any hotter.

Hoping this had to do with some new technology, I ran the straightener through my hair and saw absolutely no change. Nothing. Even gliding over the same section multiple times, my hair remained wavy and was barely warm to the touch.

I was so disappointed by the Revlon that I returned it to K-mart the next day and bought a brand new Remington Wet2Straight and will continue to recommend that brand to all of my friends.