Hi, I’m Mackenzeigh-Anne Elizabeth Marie Greene, a sophomore at Leesville. You can call me Mackenzeigh — we’re chill like that. I need to, like, help my community, so I can put it on my college applications, so I figured I’d take some time out of my day to help any fellow high schoolers that are having trouble being cool.
Don’t worry — I know it can be hard and this is a rough time for everyone. I’m right by your side, we’ll figure this out together.
Hit the mall. I’m sorry I know you like them but those jeans just aren’t working for you! Have you heard of Urban Outfitters? I really think it is just so you. Haha yeah it’s expensive but my dad transferred some money into my bank account earlier today, just text yours! It really is so important, it’s how everyone will remember you. You wanna make a good impression. Don’t you just love this t-shirt? SO worth the $30.
Get a car. You don’t have your license? You don’t have a CAR? That’s so weird! My parents got me a car the day I turned sixteen. It’s a white Mercedes and her name is Khloe, like Khloe Kardash. You absolutely need a license and a car, how else are you supposed to go to Chick-Fil-A or Tropical Smoothie everyday at lunch?? I don’t even think cars are that expensive. My parents pay for my gas and off-campus lunch because, like, they’re my parents! It’s their job to do that for me. Just get your parents to buy you a car…but nothing older than 3 years.
Stay active on social media. Make sure to post everything you’re doing, and make it look like you’re having a lot of fun with your friends. By posting often, with lots of different people, you’ll look totally popular. Everyone will wanna be as pretty and cool as you. And like, of course you’re pretty, but make sure you Photoshop your pics a little bit. Your waistline in that pic is just not gonna cut it for Instagram!
Make a finsta. You don’t know what that is? Haha weird. It’s a second Instagram account but only for your friends. Kind of like your regular Instagram, but minus the people you secretly hate. It’s like for silly posts and dramatic rants about annoying things in your life. My last finsta post was about my dumb teacher who wouldn’t raise my grade. All your friends will read about your personal problems and comment about how much they care about you.
I hope that helped! Just like DM me if you have any questions. I’m pretty sure I followed you back on Instagram, right? Haha well see you later…hope this helped you pull your life together!
–Mackenzeigh Greene
Hi! My name is Jannah and I am a senior editor and multimedia editor for The Mycenaean. I am also a math tutor, engineering intern, and a tennis player.
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