The Mycenaean

Thanksgiving often means a fancy table with holiday decorations. However, many families do not achieve this level of niceness at their own tables. (Photo Courtesy of Hello Fresh) 

Thanksgiving is a holiday that is celebrated across the country with family members.  It truly is an amazing holiday, and it is the one time in the year where it is acceptable to eat as much as possible. However, it can be stressful not only planning the day, but even just participating in it.  Here’s how to survive in the best manner possible:

1.Show up unexpectedly

Do not tell the hosts,  or anyone else that you are coming. If you keep your plans to go a secret, then your relatives will get a huge surprise when you arrive. They may be even more glad to see you because they were sad that you weren’t going to come. Plus, don’t worry about there not being enough food; families always cook way too much.  

2.Be as political as possible

You know your one relative that has strong political views that oppose yours? Tell him about how much you support one candidate over the other, your stances on taxes, and laws about free speech. Either way, try to start as many arguments as possible with every single one of your family members.  Your other family members will be enlightened by your speaking and debating skills, plus a little argument will provide more entertainment.

3.Do not bring your own dishes

Bringing dishes only creates more trouble for you. Besides, everybody else is bringing their own, you do not need to. If a family member complains that you didn’t contribute whatsoever to the dinner, just tell them that you didn’t want to make them feel bad about their cooking skills (or lack thereof). 

4.Brag about your recent accomplishments

After you graciously let your relatives shine with their cooking, it’s your turn to steal the spotlight.  Tell them all about how you got a job promotion, or really good grades, or whatever you want. And the more exaggeration, the better — it will only impress them more. Your aunts and uncles will then tell your cousins to be more like you, and you will be a role model for them.

5.Do not wear masks

Many of your relatives might not believe in the pandemic that’s going on, so make them happy by just having your normal Thanksgiving celebration.  If you and no one else wears masks, you won’t have to worry about keeping track of the masks or getting them dirty.  As long as you’re family, you’re immune. And if everyone wore masks, how would your grandparents get to see your precious faces?  

6.Take home as many leftovers as possible

When the eating is done, people are faced with the burden of packing up their food and containers, and then carrying them back home.  A common “mistake” people make is cooking too much food and having over a week’s worth of leftovers.  If you offer to accept all leftover food, no one will have to worry about eating Thanksgiving food for two weeks straight, and you don’t have to worry about grocery shopping.